Day 339: Twelve.Ten.13

Yoga reaffirms my life. Every. Time. Like, seriously.

This hot yoga business in particular.

I don’t understand why I don’t get that on a more visceral level. Like, why it’s so much work to get myself to go on a regular basis.

Doing things that are good for me – great for me – should be my ONLY line of thinking. Instead, I’m busy sabotaging myself in small, sneaky ways on a daily basis.

Getcho life, Emily. (As my dear friend told me, when she offered to pay for my yoga class and I tried to refuse.)

Here’s to another day of creativity…

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Day 291: Ten.TwentyThree.13

I’ve been reading about spirituality. Christian spirituality, to be exact. It’s slow going. I don’t much believe in all of it. Although I’m certainly more open to reading about it now, at this point in my life than ever before. Mostly, I don’t like that those with-faith feel it’s their place to tell those of us ‘without’ that God loves us. That he’s waiting for us. That just feels so condescending. Or holier-than-thou. And that seems anti the point.

That’s not my point, though.

I went to a yoga class today for the first time in a few weeks. I forced myself to go, even though I really would have liked to have talked myself out of it. I knew, deep down, I needed it.

The first thing we did was lie flat, blanket rolled beneath our backs.

eyes Closed. arms Upturned. heart Opened.

I let out my breath, felt where the backs of my palms touched the mat, and almost laugh-cried. You know, that moment when you’re not sure which emotion is taking over, so both experiences meld into one? Our teacher talked of being grounded. Remembering we were connected to the earth. I felt it. And then it was gone. I was back to thinking about my next facebook post about taking a yoga class, what I was going to eat for lunch, what I was going to teach later that day. But for that moment?

I felt something.

I drive over the Potomac River on my commute home these days. I happened to turn my head and witnessed the gray-blue of the water contrasting brilliantly with the pink-gold of the sunset. It was better than any picture could have ever captured. Perfectly still. Perfect. That expression – breathtaking – this is what it was made for. Nature often causes destruction – violent storms, blazing fires… even causes complaining a significant amount of the year – too hot this, too cold that. But in that instant?

I felt something.

The unsolicited touch of a lover’s fingertips along the length of my spine. A deepest sense of contentment that comes only with this level of closeness to another human being. Mostly, I’ve found relationships are complicated. One part enjoyable and euphoric, two parts painful and emotionally draining. But for that moment?

I felt something.

I felt free.

And perhaps, then, I know what it might be like to believe.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 259: Nine.TwentyOne.13

I really enjoy my new (to me at least – the location is obviously far from new) neighborhood.

Today in particular, it’s just downright awesome.

H Street Festival has grown tremendously over the past years. Today there was no shortage of talented artisans and performers, delicious food and drinks, or neighborly spirit.

I loved being able to both take part as a member of the community, and as a contributor of the festival. (Did a demo with Yoga District.)

Even the torrential downpour couldn’t keep this crew from rocking.

H Street Festival

H Street Festival

Coexist Coffee

Coexist Coffee

'Gumps Dumps' Furnishings (on Etsy)

‘Gumps Dumps’ Furnishings (on Etsy)

Atlas Performing Arts Center

Atlas Performing Arts Center

Yoga District Demo

Yoga District Demo

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 256: Nine.Eighteen.13

I have been slowly rising from my funk. And in the midst have made some new commitments to myself. I have wanted to fight them every step of the way – breaking habits, learning new ways, can be just so darned hard. Even the simplest ones.

I have gone to 6:15am yoga classes the past two days in a row. (I HATE mornings.) I wish I liked – loved – them but my entire being just rebels.

I went to the last outdoor film screening of the season on U Street tonight:

U St Movie Screening - Cool Disco Dan

That, in itself, isn’t something I had to push myself to do – I go to events all the time.

It was the fact that I didn’t have anyone to go with me that caused the disruption in my psyche. I can usually drag or bribe someone into coming with me. But my go-to, up-for-anything bestie is still off on an adventure of his own, and no one else was available… I just, well, don’t like doing things by myself. I wish I did. But it makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. So I generally avoid it. I almost went home. But I forced myself. And you know what?

I survived.

6:15am yoga on the other hand? I’m still working on surviving that…

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 122: Five.Seven.13

Nothing about this day has been particularly awesome.

I tried a new yoga class. The teacher had an incredible way of explaining our practice. Poetry.

Imagine the back of our heart, she said.

I don’t know that I have ever thought about the back of my heart. Of anyone’s heart.

It has made it’s way into a line in my poem: “Heal backs of hearts.”

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 117: Five.Two.13

It is a beautiful, beautiful day. I know this because everyone keeps telling me so.

Today is a beautiful day, out there. In here, in my world, it is all kinds of dark.

Thank goodness for yoga. Hot, sweaty, life-affirming yoga.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 23: One.TwentyEight.13

So I have a confession to make: I didn’t get very far with the choreography I was “supposed” to start today. The song selection – Ready For Love – it feels a bit too close to home somehow. Which is why it’s so good for me. But also makes it hard to start. It feels like it has to be just right, this choreography, as if my life depends on it. Because in some sense, maybe it does. Because I don’t know if I’m ready to love, in real life. But I want to be. So it feels like possibly one depends on the other – me learning to be ready to love, and me learning to create a dance piece again.

Loving myself, that’s where the work is first. That’s what this project has been teaching me thus far, in amazingly unforeseen ways. So I’ll keep at it, I just have to continue to remind myself that this structure I keep imposing on myself, these rules, I need to let them go. And the creativity, and dancing, will come, when it’s supposed to. Even if it’s on a different timeline than the one I have set for myself.

So instead of my own work, tonight I’m sharing a bit of outside inspiration. My friend showed this video – a blend of ballet and yoga – before our yoga class this evening. It’s beautiful and skillful and well worth the five and a half minutes it will take for you to watch the whole thing. I present to you:

Phillip Askew & Lydia Walker – Variations On Surya Namaskara‬ – YOUTUBE LINK

It’s worth clicking, I promise you.

Here’s to another day of creativity…