I’m not ready for you.
In fact, this was probably the least prepared I have ever felt about ringing in a full, new year. The least optimistic I have ever been, to be sure.
As others have been readying themselves, I have been mourning the losses of this past 365-day journey.
This past year has been about giving up: A job, a city, friendships. A life I thought I wanted/needed.
To be clear, these have all been self-inflicted sheddings – necessary ones. It’s not that I didn’t know they were coming, or even that I didn’t welcome them. It’s that I didn’t allow myself space to fully examine the absence of my former self. And so therefore, was caught completely off guard by the swell of emotions and immobility that has come to wash over me as the past year comes slamming to a close.
This next year is about time to rebuild. Or rather, build anew: My heart, my strength, my resolve. The life I have always wanted/needed.
I suppose then, 2014, you couldn’t have come at a better time.
Here’s to another day of creativity…