Day 175: Six.TwentyNine.13

I’ve had to have some conversations with myself. About my lack of focus, my recent play time, my sudden burst of social-butterfly-ness.

I’ve had to tell myself that all of these things are perfectly acceptable. Commendable, even.

Somehow I have come to know only one way to be in this world – a way that leaves no room for having fun (without feeling guilty later), taking one day as it comes, a way that includes all work all the time.

Work in the sense of responsibility, doing things for others, doing things 110% all the time even if I am not personally invested in them.

This new way, this place where I can do good work AND have fun AND be open to new ideas and ways of being…

As doors seem to keep opening (not shutting), partnerships keep forming (not disintegrating), and happiness keeps being with me every morning when I wake up (not an overwhelming sense of duty but lack of personal serenity)… I realize… THIS is living.

And now my talks with myself include reminding me that this new state doesn’t have to be fleeting. I don’t have to worry about it disappearing. (Do I deserve this?!) There will be ups and downs yes, of course. But I am creating this new world for myself, for others. And if I am willing to keep giving of myself – my true, positive, encouraging, passionate, helpful, hard-working self… I have to believe I will be able to keep living in this perpetual state.

The best part? There’s plenty of room for all to join me here.

Never has the phrase “love what you do” rang so true as it does right now.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

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