Day 115: Four.Thirty.13

I signed up for quickbooks, downloaded ‘Quickbooks for Dummies’ to my iPad, and fell in love with a refrigerator.

All in the name of propelling my business forward.

May not seem like the most creative of days, but gosh my head is swimming with all of the possibilities this new life holds. And that, as far as I’m concerned, is creativity at its finest.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 114: Four.TwentyNine.13

The art of procrastination is alive and well.

JUST in time, I finished my proposal for the Lumen8Anacostia festival.

Here is a quick snapshot:

ReSourceArts Presents: Elev8 Gallery Show & Performance

8 Artists
8 Hours
1 Objective:
To UPlift the community through visual representation, performances, and interaction.

Hopefully you will be hearing more about this soon… (Keep your fingers crossed, that it’s accepted!!)

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 113: Four.TwentyEight.13

I have been faced with myself.

Apparently I have not evolved to a new level of relationship-readiness in the way that I thought I had.

I keep attracting these men to me who seem to have no interest in any kind of serious connection – at least not one that lasts past the night.

If I am attracting these men to me then it is only fair to assume that I am giving off the vibe that I am only interested in a short-term connection.

This is news to me. I mean, well, it had been the case. Up until a week or so ago when I decided to change. Decided I was ready to be ready for something more.

Eyes open, now. Heart open, now.

Why is it that my heart, my eyes, my self can’t keep up with my impatience?

I want to be ready, now.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 112: Four.TwentySeven.13

This is how I spent my night… (Setting this up for other people to enjoy, that is.) Yum.

One Shot - Private Party

One Shot – Private Party

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 111: Four.TwentySix.13

Some sunshine:

DC Flowers

A positive, reaffirming business meeting,

And some ‘research’ (also known as enjoying this hipster paradise):

Union Market, DC

Union Market, DC

Union Market, DC

Union Market, DC

were exactly the things I needed to leave my doubts/darkness behind.

I know there will be many more days of insecurity/resistance as I start this business.

I also know it is so right. The sun shining, the flowers blooming, the gratitude I feel, make it so.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 110: Four.TwentyFive.13

A Love Story (draft two)

(for my someday child)

Part One

The truth is, I thought you would be here now.

In my younger years, I had life figured out.

You, your daddy and I, we live in a house. A yard, a dog, a fence, by now.

The other truth is, I’m scared for you.

I won’t have you until life is perfect.

I know now, there is no perfect. I will tell you this. Tell you to LIVE.

Now. And everyday thereafter.

Part Two

I will learn to sing. Open my business. Stop apologizing for being.

I will take a ridiculous amount of pictures. You will get used to what it feels like to be a star.

I will remind you to pause in front of flowers. You will get used to rejoicing in beauty, undisturbed.

We will paint, bold. Learn the names of colors. You will forever cherish the shades that make us all magnificent. Brilliant.

Part Three

I haven’t found your daddy yet.

But I promise he is kind, generous, loving.

He laughs, silly. Creates, and stays curious about the world.

And he loves you. All the way as much as I do.

Part Four

There is a mourning I didn’t allow myself to have.

Perhaps, I don’t want children.

Lips gasp back words as they tumble from dark within.

I have always, always wanted you.

I know this now.

Part Five

Above all else, I promise to love you with all of my heart. And then some.

The truth is, I already do.

 

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 109: Four.TwentyFour.13

I have wanted to choreograph to this song for a long time.

Now, the time feels really right.

Video from the studio. Nothing concrete, just some playing. Adapting previous choreography to the song.

Trying to internalize what moving closer to my dreams looks like in movement form.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 107: Four.TwentyTwo.13

A twelve hour span of time, alone, in a car.

Aching, crawling inwards, grinding of teeth.

I have returned to the darkest of places – one I haven’t found myself in for a very long time.

It scares me.

Without meaning to and yet with complete intention all at once, I dragged my way out of this darkness.

I put a new life and purpose in motion.

I don’t want to be back here. Never. Ever. Ever again.

I have now become incredibly angry.

Doubt, ugliness, insecurity.

That I have allowed myself to return to this space.

Or that it has returned to me.

I don’t want to feel this way. Never. Ever. Ever again.

Here’s to another day of creativity…

Day 106: Four.TwentyOne.13

It’s Earth Day.

I’m ashamed to say I forgot for most of it.

I did do this in advance, knowing that I would be celebrating the accomplishments of some of my most cherished women, on their college graduation day:

Earth Day

I am in the middle of the woods with the kind of people that are changing the world through their every fiber. Their fingertips and neurons spark deep connections in this earth. They are healing our world. A slow, sometimes lonely process. Without a guarantee that others will join. They continue forward anyway, knowing there is no other choice.

Here’s to another day of creativity…