A Love Story (draft two)
(for my someday child)
The truth is, I thought you would be here now.
In my younger years, I had life figured out.
You, your daddy and I, we live in a house. A yard, a dog, a fence, by now.
The other truth is, I’m scared for you.
I won’t have you until life is perfect.
I know now, there is no perfect. I will tell you this. Tell you to LIVE.
Now. And everyday thereafter.
I will learn to sing. Open my business. Stop apologizing for being.
I will take a ridiculous amount of pictures. You will get used to what it feels like to be a star.
I will remind you to pause in front of flowers. You will get used to rejoicing in beauty, undisturbed.
We will paint, bold. Learn the names of colors. You will forever cherish the shades that make us all magnificent. Brilliant.
I haven’t found your daddy yet.
But I promise he is kind, generous, loving.
He laughs, silly. Creates, and stays curious about the world.
And he loves you. All the way as much as I do.
There is a mourning I didn’t allow myself to have.
Perhaps, I don’t want children.
Lips gasp back words as they tumble from dark within.
I have always, always wanted you.
I know this now.
Above all else, I promise to love you with all of my heart. And then some.
The truth is, I already do.
Here’s to another day of creativity…